Even if you’re not a person that daydreams much, you probably have some random, strange thoughts throughout the day. Maybe you start thinking about how microwaves work or why your dog doesn’t like to pee standing up… But don’t feel bad. Everyone lets their mind wander. Although, some people end up having much weirder thoughts than others. Then they tweet about it and really kick the strangeness up a notch. Wow. Just, wow.
1.) I guess butts CAN be annoying.
2.) Yes. Yes you are.
3.) Well, dead people might think that, too.
4.) That is a terrible, terrible idea.
5.) I don’t think it’s ice cream after that.
6.) Boiling water is tricky.
7.) Don’t tell Miley or Hillary that.
8.) … probably.
9.) Leave the camel penises for the camels.
10.) What kind of soy sauce are you using?
11.) I’m not even sure where you’d get one of those.
12.) Not even your dog likes those.
13.) I’m sure no one has ever thought to try.
14.) EW. YES.
15.) People who don’t like pizza, don’t like life.
16.) Go watch the movie Nine Months.
17.) You may be the only person with it long enough to.
18.) You’re doing it all wrong. All of it.
19.) … yes?
20.) That has to be tricky in public restrooms.
21.) Stop doing so much around your dog.
(H/T BuzzFeed) I’m entirely certain that NO ONE has ever thought those things before (or at least they didn’t publicly tweet them). So, don’t feel bad about what you think about in the shower or at work. These people have you beat! These tweets are hilarious; share them by clicking on this button!