Brutally Honest Candy Hearts For Every Person In Your Life


If you can’t say anything nice…be passive-aggressive as hell.

1. For the hookup who won’t leave.

Monica Meyer / Via

No, I do not want to get breakfast. I do want to pretend this never happened tho.

2. For the personal space invader.

Monica Meyer / Via

No situation is so dire that your arm should be touching my arm.

3. For friends who are new parents.

Monica Meyer / Via

Don’t have a baby, literally don’t know anything you’re talking about rn.

4. For the sad soul who tells you leggings aren’t pants.

Monica Meyer / Via

Hello, are you new at life? Calm down.

5. For the Little Engine that THOUGHT he could.

Monica Meyer / Via

No one in the history of ever has gotten an A for effort. Ever.

6. For people you owe money to, so they know you haven’t forgotten.*

Monica Meyer / Via

*but also that you have no intention of paying.

7. For the person whose got a great personality.

Monica Meyer / Via

If there’s climbing involved, it’s too much work.

8. For the friend who needs a gym buddy.

Monica Meyer / Via

Running? Like what…on purpose?

9. For that friend who keeps trying to cross the line.

Monica Meyer / Via

This isn’t a rom-com, chill.

10. For the friend who thinks they’re a great wing woman.

Monica Meyer / Via

“Hope you like Top 40, it’s all she listens to.” Thanks, you’re the best, bffl.

11. For the friend who literally can’t even right now.

Monica Meyer / Via

If you can’t handle her at her worst, it never gets better.

12. For the friend who keeps asking you to go speed dating.

Monica Meyer / Via

Trying to decide between this and jumping off a bridge.

13. For that family member always trying to set you up.

Monica Meyer / Via

Grandma, stop, I’m going to live forever. Let’s focus on you.

14. For the friend who calls everyone bae.

Monica Meyer / Via

LOL at you trying to hold onto your youth.

15. For what’s-his-name that keeps texting you.

Monica Meyer / Via

It’s not your face, it’s your brain. It’s stupid.

16. For the overly attached flirt at the bar.

Monica Meyer / Via

If she says she’s not into relationships, IT’S A TRAP.

17. For anyone who disagrees with you about anything at all ever.

Monica Meyer / Via

Oh, you think Five Guys is better than In-N-Out? I’ll pray for you.

18. For people who ask you to do anything outdoors.

Monica Meyer / Via

How am I supposed to watch AHS if I’m hiking?! Use your brains, goddamn.

19. For the newly single friend.

Monica Meyer / Via

You’re not alone. You’ve got Friends. :)

20. For anyone who wears socks with sandals.

Monica Meyer / Via

What are you doing? People will SEE you.

21. For the person you’re just not that into.

Monica Meyer / Via

Did you just ask me out? Let’s not and say we did.

22. For the guy searching for his Manic Pixie Dream Girl.

Monica Meyer / Via

Sorry bro, but you are literally dreaming right now.

23. For anyone who prefers Walmart over Target.

Monica Meyer / Via

You need to reevaluate some life choices.

24. For that person in the office you barely tolerate.

Monica Meyer / Via

I bet they were the first to use the “see you next year” joke.

25. For the guy wearing the Suns Out Guns Out shirt.

Monica Meyer / Via

Is this really who you want to be?

26. For your mother when she asks about your life goals.

Monica Meyer / Via

Can’t talk about my five-year plan right now, Master Chef Junior marathon is on.

27. For anyone asking about your Valentine’s Day plans.

Monica Meyer / Via

More important, Feb. 15 is the day of half-priced chocolate.

28. For the overly confident.

Monica Meyer / Via

PSA: There’s ALWAYS room for improvement.

29. For people who make your brain hurt.

Monica Meyer / Via

When being nice is no longer an option.

30. For the ex.

Monica Meyer / Via

JK, harsh. But for real. No, just playing. No, I totally mean it.

31. For the rebound.

Monica Meyer / Via

But then get out, we’re done here.

32. For guys’ bios that say, “This Tinder thing is weird right?”

Monica Meyer / Via

Or if they’re posing with tigers. Or a celebrity. Or if they say, “I’m 6’2”, I guess that’s important here?”

33. For the stage five clinger.

Monica Meyer / Via

If she’s like, just not into relationships, IT’S A TRAP.

34. For the friend in deep, deep denial.

Monica Meyer / Via

She’s one “rescue cat” away from being “that girl.”

35. For the friend who has questionable taste.

Monica Meyer / Via

If it started on the dance floor, leave it on the dance floor.

36. For the person you thought was a friend until they said “double date.”

Monica Meyer / Via

For the love of all things Jessica Simpson, who are you even right now?

37. For the lovebirds.

Monica Meyer / Via

You guys are adorable and it’s making my body violently ill.

38. For yourself.

Monica Meyer / Via

You do you, boo. #loveyourself

Read more:


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s